I can't believe that we would lie in our graves

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 22:49:04 GMT

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright? yeah
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright? yeah
If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright? yeah
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright? yeah
With you...

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 03:12:05 GMT

"Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I and you are you, whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name. Speak to me in the eay way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Pray, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effort, without the ghost of a shadow in it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is an absolute unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, somewhere very near, just around the corner.

All is well."

-Henry Scott Holland

i love you grandpa.

feels like i'm (almost) all the way back where i belong...

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 05:47:02 GMT

last weekend was so fun.

it's going to be hard to get through the next fews days. i think i might fail my math class, but most of me doesn't really care.

jason robert brown

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 00:19:27 GMT

I'll never be a knight in armor with a sword in hand,
Or a kamakazie fighter.
Don't count on me to storm the barricades and take a stand,
Or hold my ground.
You'll never see any scars or wounds,
I don't walk on coals,
I won't walk on water.

I am no prince,
I am no saint,
I am not anyone's wildest dream,
But I can stand behind
And be someone to fall back on.

Some comedy, you're bruised and beaten down
And I'm the one who's looking for a favor.
Still, honestly, you don't believe me
But the things I have are the things you need.

You look at me like I don't make sense,
Like a waste of time,
Like it serves no purpose.

I am no prince,
I am no saint,
And if that's what you belive you need: you're wrong.
You don't need much,
You need someone to fall back on.

And I'll be that,
I'll take your side if I'm the only one,
I'm used to that!
I've been alone,
I'd rather be the half of us,
the least of you, the best of me.

And I'll be your prince,
I'll be your saint,
I will go crashing through fences in you name,
I will, I swear,
I'll be someone to fall back on.

And I'll be the one who waits,
And for as long as you'll let me
I will be the one you need,
I'll be someone to fall back on.
Your prince,
Your saint,
The one you believe you need,
I'll be someone to fall back on.

i miss woodfield mall immensely.

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 04:31:38 GMT

spring break part 2 is in a couple weeks and i am esctatic. however that means juries are coming up and i still need to memorize quite a bit of music...

im excited to live in the house next year but ill miss ashley a lot. shes one of the best friends ive ever had and we've had such a fun year.

I have grown so much this year its insane. its been hard to be away from the family i thought i hated for so long.

ps i think im going insane.

Advice

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 19:37:14 GMT

Sing for absolution, my friend. Understanding is the key to life. Help others. Be late in doing it. A helping hand has no time frame. Accept life as it comes, but don't settle for it. Seek help. Set goals. Accomplish them. Live.

"The adventurous may not live long but the cautious never live at all."

Enjoy every secod you are alive. Even in the worst parts of the world, the worst day of your life; there is beauty somewhere. Find it.

Live lavishly in your mind - live lavishly for others in real life.

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 22:55:27 GMT

well these past few days have been fan-fucking-tastic!!!!

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 16:35:33 GMT

please pray for my grandpa. he's going into a hospice and they're stopping his medication.

thanks.

oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 06:58:20 GMT

A little quotation fun, brought to you by The Office:

Michael Scott: I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends. I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments, and that is when it's nice to let them know that you could beat them up.

Michael Scott: Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.

Michael Scott: Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Jim Halpert: It's true, I'm having a party. I've got three cases of imported beer, karaoke machine, and I didn't invite Michael. So, three ingredients for a great party.

Dwight Schrute: In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, "Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me and I'm dead." Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion, you're dead.

Dwight Schrute: The purse girl hits everything on my checklist: creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me... for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 18:49:37 GMT

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 02:07:49 GMT

i have a horrible habit of doing things that i know are bad for me. its like i can't help myself from playing with fire even though i know i'll get burned. i can predict the consequences of an action, but on the slight chance that they are different than i anticipate, i proceed anyway.

these days i pretty much will do anything to avoid my homework. its only getting wrose now because i know that i only have a short amount of time until break.

it really amazes me how much people can change in college.

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 07:46:06 GMT

i'm facing the cold water alone.

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 05:34:30 GMT

I honestly miss high school.

i miss the stupid homecoming decorations.

i miss the football games and going off campus for the first time.

i miss assembles and basketball games.

i miss musicals and choir concerts.

i miss walking to joeys house.

i miss being ridiculous with calyn and then crying with her.

i miss going to steak and shake in the middle of the night.

i miss dreading the fact that i went to the same classes every day.

i miss the holiday dinner concert and choraliers.

i miss ang and mo and the summer of 05.

i miss laughing with christine and ashley and linday about leg hair and mrs pancratz and xander.

i miss the sextant and ms ryan.

i miss little women and laughing at the funny things creeps mcshaw did.

i miss tuna and pita chips.

i miss nasty boyz games and kristi and kim.

i miss the excitement of prom.

i may just be having an emo moment right now but i really hope you guys enjoy the homecoming game and dance :)
college is honestly awesome and im starting to love it. i may be homesick but i still feel like myself here, if that makes sense.

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 04:13:59 GMT

Just kidding.

buy hybrid cars.

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 16:45:38 GMT

This is the first day that i've been genuinely HAPPY in a really long time. oddly, it's mostly because of a class. lol.

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 06:13:40 GMT

back in bloomington...but not that upset considering that tonight was very nice. i had dinner with ashley and emily...it was nice to see familiar faces. i feel like things will start to get better. i hope.

i also realized i want to have no regrets in life. "everything happens for a reason" as as the stupid cliche says, whether the reason is good or bad. every experience ive had has shaped decisions i make today for the most part, or the beliefs i have. therefore it doesnt make sense to deny my past since it is a part of the present in some way.

sometimes enlightenment comes from where it is least expected.

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 08:55:31 GMT

i don't know what it is...but i love being at home. i know many of my friends can't wait to go back to school...but i'd love to stay home.

schools been pretty fun so far, but i've had a couple freak out moments. the whole first week was orientation stuff. we started classes this week, and actually they are really interesting. theres just something so frustrating about being a freshman. i want to fast forward all of the awkwardness.

by the way i have and always will love septemberfest and will be there every night, because i am 10 years old.

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:47:30 GMT

for any choir girls who dont have facebook:

we're meeting at my house around 11:30 to decide somewhere to go out to lunch! call me if you need directions or have questions.

EVERYONE IS INVITED! :)

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 20:02:29 GMT

i need to get over this insane anxiety about going to school immediately. i don't know what it is, but its starting to make me feel sick. i know i will love it once i'm immersed in the whole situation, but right now i feel sick to my stomach. i know i can make friends, i know i can deal with the pressure of school. i just want to skip the awkward freshman shit and be comfortable. i am insane.

i regret some choices i made this summer concerning work. i worked too much and essentially cut my summer short.

i leave in 12 days.

important things

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 06:45:23 GMT

MONDAY AUGUST 7th WE ARE ALL GOING OUT TO DINNER SOMETIME AFTER 7.

comment with where you want to go :)

you've got a lot to learn...more best friends to burn.

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 06:31:41 GMT

i just got a rush of anxiety about going to school. i dont know if i can leave. how strange will it be to leave all of your friends? i cant stand being uncomfortable...and even worse is being uncomfortable and alone. i need to hang out with everyone before i leave. please call me so we can hang out.

one more month. yuck.

ugh.

ps wtf?

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 19:05:29 GMT

POWERSPACE IS PLAYING THIS FRIDAY AT THE ELK GROVE VFW!
check them out - it's brandon's first show with them.

they are good. very, very good.

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 19:45:15 GMT

I HATE MOSQUITOES

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 07:38:51 GMT

um i also hung out with my roomate ashley and her friends tonight and we did almost get kicked out of starbucks...hahaha

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 07:21:43 GMT

graduation was sunday. how fucking insane. i had pink eye and now i have strep. not so fun. thanks to everyone who came to my grad party :) and to those who couldn't come it's ok. i miss having bonfires in my backyard.

but otherwise this year was a rollercoaster. it didn't start off so well, mostly because i didn't allow it to. it turned into a pretty good year though. i went through some weird times with friends and things are still a little shaky. i don't think i spelled that right.

i love my job. oberweis is so fun and i work with some cool people :) i'm interning at metropolis too. they're awesome as well and the kids' summer camps start so that should be a fun time.

i guess i'm just looking forward to college. i hope i chose a good major. i hope i can stick it out.

tomorrow i'm hanging out with meg. i miss her:( before brandon, i guess i've missed being with a guy. but i need some time to be by myself too. i haven't been hanging out with people much between seeing brandon, working, and school. i regret it but at the same time i think i needed it. anyway if you want to hang out with meg and i, call me!! i get off work at 11 though :(

lastly, to everyone who knew ronny well...i'm so sorry. i'm not going to the wake becausei kind of feel out of place since i didn't know him that well. i never know what to say when something horrible happens. all i can say is that to anyone who was close to him -- lauren, gagan, audrey -- i'm so sorry and i'm here for you. it might be cliche , and i know it's not the same situation, but it really does make me appreciate the time i spend with my grandpa.